Knights of the Lunch Table Forums

Our New Religion is coming soon, so be Prepared. If you have any Ideas, post them here.

One LOLCAT per week must be submitted to the heads of the Church. They will evaluate it accordingly and allocate the proper amount of LULZ for which you must aquire a specific amount in your lifetime in order to achieve salvation.

It's not like we're going to actually believe in this religion.

Hopefully.

maybe we can combine this with the young cultists club we  are making at my lunch table where we worship chuck norris.

We could mention chuck norris somewhere.

chuck norris created the universe. add anything else onto that and I would worship it lol (jk)

*sigh* more things about religion -_-||

Note to all:

The Lord Lunch experiment was a success. People stopped me in the hall for wearing a hat, and most were turned back by the scary thought of being fired because they interfered with my religious beliefs. Or they were socially accepting. Or they thought I was crazy.

BUT THEN ONE DA WAS ALL LIKE

DA: Religion is only good if lots of people think it is right. That's why Muslims can wear hats and you can't. There is a lot of them, they must be right.

Me: So, you're saying religion isn't important unless there is a big group?

DA: Well, no, that's no- (she was obviously trying to backtrack)

Me: *taking off hat* Ok, I see your way.

DA: kthxlol

Me: *walks away, taking social evidence with him* God's not real. 

If I were you, I would've argued about it a lot more and made the DA get in serious trouble.

If I were you, I would take this as a sign.

That has to be one of the best things ever.
And I guess I'm supposed to come up with the Commandments of the Lunch Table here in MN. We need rules at our lunch table, and I have to enforce them. Because we all know how impulsive I am.

Use these as a starter.

ONE: THOU SHALT NOT DEFY LORD LUNCH

TWO: THOU SHALT NOT QUESTION LORD LUNCH

THREE: LORD LUNCH IS BETTER THAN HIS LITTLE BROTHER, GOD

FOUR: LORD LUNCH CAN INDEED CREATE A STONE SO HEAVY THAT HE CANNOT LIFT IT. AND THEN HE’D LIFT IT. WHILE HE DOESN’T.

FIVE: THE DATES AND NAMES LISTED AND ORDERED SHOULD ALWAYS BE FOLLOWED. LORD LUNCH’S RULES OVERPOWER THOSE OF HIS INFERIORS.

SIX: THOU SHALT NOT KILL UNLESS LORD LUNCH TOLD YOU TOO.

SEVEN: DUDE, WHAT THE HECK. DRUGS WILL FREAKING KILL THOU.

EIGHT: THOU SHALT NOT ENJOY A YARD THAT WHICH EXCEEDS FOUR HUNDRED AND SIXTY SIX PONDS.

NINE: WILL BE LIKED.

TEN: GIFTS THAT ARE RECEIVED BY THY NEIGHBOR SHOULD NOT BE ENJOYED, BUT RATHER PUNCHED BY YONDER FIST, AND RETURNED TO THY NEIGHBOR’S GRACE. IF HE THEN OFFERS REFUSAL, OBJECT MAY BE KEPT.

ELEVEN: THOU SHALT NOT PASS.

Lol, that owns. The Commandments I had to make were just concerning having lunch at our school lunch table. But those should definitely be the Commandments that Knights live by... kind of lol.

Those were taken from the Book Of Lunch, which is still kind of being written. So far, it rules though.

Ah, so true. So true.